Discuss this Issue with your Partner (Early Stage Relationship)
The importance of discussing this contentious issue with your partner cannot be overemphasized. Also, you need to address this issue as soon as possible. This topic is one of the things to discuss within the first few months of a serious relationship.
Try talking about the issue of children in a pressure-free manner to know your partner’s stand on the issue. Don’t start the convo with absolutes such as “I never want to have children.” Feel your partner out to know his opinion. For instance, on your next date night, you can pop up the question. “Do you see yourself with kids in the future?”
Depending on the answer of your partner, you’ll know how to proceed with the conversation. No matter how awkward you find the conversation, try to be honest and transparent. To be fair to both you and your partner, don’t hide your feelings. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone who will be depressed without children, while you know you’ll also be miserable with kids?
If you and your partner have been together for a long time, then you both should consider seeing a therapist. While most people frown at the thought of visiting the therapist, in this case, it might be the only way to save your relationship. A therapist can help you both get to the bottom of the issue, offer new perspectives, and also provide the best options for the future.
For instance, it could be that you are opposed to the idea of having children because you’re scared that you’ll lose your body shape, and your partner will lose sexual interest in you. Whatever the case might be, discussing it with a professional will help matters.
Consider other Options (Married Couple)
If your partner wants a kid and breaking up is not an option, then you should discuss a compromise. For instance, you both can start with fostering a child temporarily. You can file for a child to be placed with you; this way, you both can feel what it’s like to be parents without coming to any permanent decision.
On the other hand, if your problem with having kids is with the early stages, then you can consider the adoption of an older kid. If you have issues with pregnancy, breastfeeding, the midnight wake-up times, diaper changing, and all the other processes, you can avoid them this adopting a kid above the age of 5. You can also consider babysitting for a relative or a friend to ease yourself into the process. Top-mom.com can help you with all your baby needs.
Topics such as sexual expectations, division of labor, family relations, and finances are essential when planning a future with a partner. Even more important is the question of whether or not to have children. You have to communicate your feelings about children to your partner to ensure that you both can come into alignment. Be honest with your partner.
However, if your partner is not on the same page and absolutely refuses to consider a rethink, then you have some serious thinking to do. First, you have to consider if you would ever be willing to change your mind in the future. If not, then you have to brace yourself for adverse reactions from your partner.
Though it isn’t easy to come out of your comfort zone only to say goodbye to your partner, it is better to speak up on time than to go on with a miserable future. So, talk to your partner now as the longer you delay revealing the truth, the worse the potential breakup will be.