Breaking up is never easy. Especially if the break-up is a particularly tough one.
Dealing with a broken heart can feel like the worst thing in the world. All you want to do is shut off the rest of humanity and drown your sorrows into a huge tub of Ben and Jerry’s until the pain becomes that little bit more numb.
The last thing on your mind is dating. You can’t even imagine finding that emotional capacity it takes to get to know someone again.
Great dating advice can be hard to find, but that’s where we come in and try our best to get you back into the dating game. So put down that tub of ice-cream and here are a few reminders to help you get back out there…
Remember what it was like to be in love
It can be hard to remember the good times and the reason you were in a relationship, to begin with, whilst trying to mend a broken heart. The pain of breaking up can shadow your mind and make you forget all the good times you actually experienced in the relationship.
It’s usually healthy to delete pictures and sentimental reminders of the relationship you are trying to forget and move on from, but it’s important to remember that feeling of being in love and the utter bliss you felt at the time. This is a good motivator for you to get back onto the dating scene and be keen to find that love once again.
Remember your worth!!
I emphasize this point as I believe it can be all too easy to fall into a pit of self-pity and down a dark spiral of blaming yourself for things going wrong. This is especially the case if it was a messy break-up and one party was manipulated or as we call it, ‘gaslighted’ into thinking so.
It is important to remind yourself that things didn’t work out for a reason, and unless you cheated or did something obviously dreadful, you weren’t the reason for things ending and you deserve to find happiness again!
Some self-love is a good place to start when it comes to remembering your worth. Spending some time with yourself and taking care of you is a great way to enter dating more positively.
Remember there is no rush
It can sometimes feel like there is a ticking time bomb for you to meet someone, settle down and do it all by a deadlined age you have unconsciously set yourself.
Re-entering the dating scene after a break-up, however, can take some time before you feel ready to do so again. Taking the time to heal properly and really delving into that self-love thing we were just talking about can really help in making you feel ready to date again.
There is no time limit on how long that takes, it is better to meet someone in a good headspace than take unwanted, heavy baggage into a new relationship that could potentially weigh you down.