A person is rather a simple creature. There are a lot of things that our brain does not know: how to move objects with the power of thought, how to enjoy life on a hungover morning, and how to simultaneously have too many romantic relationships. We want to talk about what it means – “too much.”
Tinder, Badoo, Pure, and dozens and hundreds of different dating services such as ladadate.com/ukrainian-brides are at your service, and the number of potential romantic partners and Ukrainian brides is simply physically impossible to count. However, as the researchers say, the infinity of options is not necessarily good when it comes to dating and relationships. After all, it turns out that our brain can cope only with a certain number of connections.
Emily Morse, the author of the English-language podcast Sex with Emily, has recently invited Dr. Helen Fisher, a sex researcher and chief scientific adviser to the global Match.com service, where she made some interesting statements. “The problem is that the human brain is not made for excessive variability of choice. It has a weak point – it’s most convenient for us to choose between five and nine possible options, after which you usually simply refuse to choose.”
According to Fisher, to succeed in dating applications, it is recommended to stop the process of choice after you met (that is, there was a match in the application) with nine girls. “Learn better at least one of these people. The more you get to know someone, the more you like this person, and the more you think they like you,” said Fisher, adding that this rule is true for both men and women.
Fisher also recommends being more open to the new and not afraid to say “yes” instead of “no” when it comes to some minor details. For example, if you did not like the girl’s dress or the style of her shoes. “Think about the reasons to say yes,” Helen said, explaining that our brains are inclined to say “no” more often and to be negatively inclined towards everything, this is an evolutionary trait, but you should be more open on your first dates.
Agreeing that there are still some issues to which you should pay attention to, that is, internal prohibitions that should not be ignored, Fisher remarked: “If the brain says “maybe,” then, go on a date again to get a clearer answer.”
The idea that a possible overdose of dating apps significantly reduces the chances of finding your love has been discussed before. In particular, “relationship guru” James Pearce told The Independent that too many dates are counterproductive because instead of focusing on a person who can be a great couple for you, you will think about who will be the next woman sitting on the other side of the table.
As Pierce said, “Sometimes it seems that the grass is greener on a nearby lawn, but in the end, you just have a bad date. If you don’t try to know the person next to you better, you will never know how everything could have worked out.”
In general, you understand. Not more than nine at a time.