If you’ve noticed potential symptoms of anxiety or depression in your child, you may be in the process of seeking out treatment options for them. If therapy is one of the options on your radar, it’s likely that you are wondering how old your child needs to be to start therapy. This is a very common question that many parents have when scheduling their child to see a mental health professional.
Starting to see a therapist can be a really big step for a child, so it’s natural for parents to want all the information before making a final decision. At any age, behavioral or emotional distress can become a burden for not only the child but the family members too, and therapy is there to help ease that burden. Below you can find out what age a child needs to be to benefit from therapy sessions, as well as what you may expect from therapy or counseling at each age.
Very Young Children and Therapy
As a general rule, the younger the child is, the more their parent or guardian will need to be involved in the therapy process. While you may picture therapy sessions as the traditional ‘patient alone in the room with the counselor’ image, therapy can look much different for children (especially very young children). Depending on your child’s age and level of maturity, they may not always get the most benefit from a one on one session with their counselor. Another thing to consider is the strength of your parent-child bond. For many children, their connection to their parents helps them feel safe, and they take many cues about how they should think, feel and act from their parents. Lastly, if parents aren’t in the know about what happens at their young child’s therapy sessions, it may be hard for them to practice strategies or remember key takeaways from the session. For these reasons, the parent(s) or guardian is often in the room for part or all of the child’s sessions.
If you are skeptical about young children benefiting from traditional therapy, you are certainly right to be. After all, a young toddler cannot be expected to individually remember coping strategies or thought processes that they discussed with their counselor. But this doesn’t mean that very young child such as babies and toddlers cannot benefit from therapy! There are special forms of therapy that have been designed specifically for children in these age groups who may be dealing with emotional struggles. These types of therapy always involve the parent and can be great to help parents learn new ways of soothing their child or managing difficult behavior.
For children around the preschool age, it’s best for parents to be present for around half of each session in order to discuss some solutions to recent problems or to build coping skills together. This also helps the parents focus on things to work on at home with the child. Most children of this age can then finish the remaining part of their session alone.
Lastly, elementary school children can do their sessions alone most of the time but may benefit from periodic check-ins every one to two sessions from their parents or guardians. While kids this age usually have no problem doing the session by themself, they may still need support or reminders from their parents at home which is why a check-in to get the parents on the same page may be needed.
Therapy Sessions by Age Group
Preschoolers: Children in the 3-5-year-old age range are usually best to spend about half their session alone with the therapist, and this time is often best spent participating in play therapy. Since children this young can’t always put their feelings into words, allowing them to express themselves through play is invaluable.
Elementary school: At ages 7-9, children can begin to come to their therapy sessions alone. Children at this age are more independent, are beginning to develop more advanced thinking skills, and can put their thoughts and feelings into words. This age group often benefits from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which aims to challenge negative thoughts and feelings and develop coping mechanisms for dealing with them. Parents of children at this age should plan on meeting with their child’s therapist on a semi-regular basis to check in on their progress.
Middle and high school: By the time children are in middle to high school, they are mostly able to manage therapy by themselves. Teens and tweens are forming their own identities, and having an unbiased third party to listen to them can really help them find their voice and manage their emotions. While parents of teens and tweens are always welcome to check-in, they are usually not required to meet or check-in with their child’s therapist as frequently.
Is your child ready?
While the age ranges above can give you some guidance on if your child is ready for therapy, the decision should be based on more than just their numerical age. Since every child develops at their own pace, some children may be mature enough for some types of therapy before others. If your child has shown any of the signs below, they are likely at a stage in their development where they could benefit from seeing a therapist:
- They are able to make-believe play (where they can use an object to represent something else while playing)
- They can focus on one activity for more than a few minutes with the help
- They can communicate their needs to other people if a family is not around
- They are verbalizing their feelings and thoughts
If your child has not yet reached these milestones but you feel that they require child therapy, there are plenty of specialists out there who are trained to work with young patients.
If you think your child might benefit from therapy and that they are old enough to start sessions, one of our team members will be happy to schedule a time to chat. Still not sure if your child is old enough to see a therapist? We can ask the right questions to help you figure out if they are ready to start the therapy process. Contact us today to learn more about our services and qualifications.
