The internet is filled with mystery and wonder, and all the little surfers want to be seen, noticed, and heard. It’s a wide world, look at all the lonely people, (as the Beatles song went) trying to find someone to cling to.
Or, perhaps it’s just another fun day looking for sex? Who knows? Every individual has a load of needs and desires that they want to fulfill immediately, and what better way to fulfill a fantasy than on the virtual world of chat.
The world is full of strangers, we pass each other daily, and yet, for some reason today, more than yesteryear, we don’t talk to strangers in the street, we wait to talk to strangers online. In fact we even “like” and “heart” them, imagine doing that to a total stranger in a busy street?
There are four types of users in stranger chat, the dystopian, the lonely, the seeker of knowledge and the perv or predator.
Dystopia is here, the land of the living is filled with smartphone-connected individuals that prefer to chat online while sitting around a table with family? Why talk to a boring family when you can chat with a total stranger that might only desire to burn you alive while filming it for fun? After all, strangers are so much more interesting then friends and family.
Most individuals are seeking a specific subject area to understand or discuss, such as stamp collecting, F150 engines, or bungee jumping in the Grand Canyon. However, there are a large percentage that is just seeking thrills, or a new “friend” online, or someone to jam with.
The lonely user is someone that has issues connecting with real people and prefers to converse digitally with non-physical bond relationships. This might sound weird, but its true and affects a large percentage of the population. In most instances, the lonely user has issues but is not dangerous.
Whatever the reason, the internet caters for that need, and random stranger chat sites are just one phenomenon that has arisen to supplement a need for meeting with strangers.
The Random Chat Site
There are many, in many languages, Omegle started the craze but was soon accompanied by many competitors that provide a better service with better options. In this article I won’t go into the sites, I will go into how to use the sites, or how to chat and video chat with strangers. This article is split into two parts:
- Part 1: Dos and Donts
- Part 2: How to Talk to Strangers
Let’s just dive right in and get to the point.
Part 1: Dos and Don’ts
In this section I will start by present the major no-no’s that you must ingrain into your mindset and never ever lower your guard or forget them.
- Never divulge any personal information or details. Do not show any document, no matter how innocent it might seem to you that has any identifying data on it. Make sure your camera does not show any part of your location or identifying items in the background. You would be surprised how easy it is to locate information about you from one basic data set. This includes not telling anyone where you went to school an college, your exact birthdate (or age), information about your friends or family. Don’t even give the first name of a distant acquaintance, you don’t give out information, and you don’t know anything except for the context subject matter of the chat itself. (such as 1955 Chevy’s) For instance, never tell anyone about a Chevy you saw on a specific street, this can be used as an identifier data set.
- Never accept downloads from anyone in random chat, these files can be photos, videos or data files that contain viruses, worms, and other malicious code which will eventually entrap you in whatever nefarious activity the stranger was seeking to perform.
- Do not get lured into conversation subject that you are not comfortable with. You don’t owe any stranger anything. Shut the connection if you feel insecure, slightly nervous, or just wary. Do not proceed to explore, do not proceed to think you are leading the conversation. One of the intelligent tools that a psychopath or pervert uses is negotiator psychology. This tool enables the stranger to make you feel as if you are in charge and directing the conversation, however, in reality, they are using specific strings of words, and in the video, they use inflection and reflection to lower your wariness to their desires.
- Never post a photo of yourself. Even if you don’t have one and the stranger asks to see you, decline the offer. There is nothing innocent behind a person asking to see what you look like in text or audio chat. In a video chat, this means, don’t stand up and show off more than your face, and definitely don’t show of body parts even if you are an idiot perv.
After getting rid of all the above insecurities, let’s look at the brighter side of the chat.
- Always consider that everyone is out there for an innocent and enjoyable chat. Give them the benefit of the doubt until it becomes otherwise. So, if you are seeking to chat about a TV series, a film, cars, food, or just a general sex chat, remember to keep the conversation on the subject.
- Many users of stranger chat are actually lonely people. They have issues connecting in real life. They are seeking a digital friend, but one that is human and can bond with them via the internet in an on-physical or forced relationship. So keep an open mind when entering their world and listen to them carefully. Some online chats do turn out to evolve into online friendships.
- Don’t just go willy-nilly into any chat site or room. Pick a specific target audience and subject matter. Keep your chat focused on a subject and sought that subject out. Consider seeking a recipe for Risotto, in this instance; you are seeking good recipes that can come from home cooks, amateur chefs and foodies that enjoy surfing as you do. Don’t sway from the context, keep it food-related in this case.
- Listen to your gut, if you are a person that has “butterflies” and can sense danger, which some call intuition, listen to it. This is extremely important; your subconscious mind is talking to you and sending you a message to be wary.
Part 2: How to Talk to Strangers
There are three primary differences between talking to a stranger in the coffee shop or queue to talking to a stranger online.
- Face and Body language
- Reasons for Chatting
- Hidden Agendas
Consider this; you don’t have internet, you are in a world that is wireless free. This describes your city before the 1980s. In that world, you would meet a stranger standing in a line and just smile and start talking. It happens it still does. Strangers do talk to each other and usually without any hidden agenda.
The age of the internet brought with its anonymity, and this anonymity is dangerous because the small percentage of bad nature that invades us all is amplified when feeling secure behind a wall of electronics and miles of wireless distance.
All of a sudden people that would never go into a strip joint or a casino find themselves watching sex online or gambling in digital platforms. Access to bad environments is open in the safety of the home. However, the home is not a safe haven and can be invaded very easily, since the invasion starts in your mind.
So, when using the internet to surf, especially in random stranger websites consider the environment you are entering. This is the hidden misty world of anonymity and misdirection. You are a stranger seeking a stranger, and there are rules of engagement that must mirror the way you would encounter a stranger in the real world.
Consider this, would you immediately ask a stranger for their name when standing in a queue? You don’t need a photo because you can see them, but what is the first thing you usually do? In most instances its smile and make an appropriate statement that fits the queue.
Well, employ this in the same manner online.
Now consider the three contact methods, text, audio, and video. Now let’s take a look at the rules of engagement and how to talk to strangers in random chat sites.
- No matter which method of communication you choose, your first interaction is going to be “Hi.” This is the only way to start a chat properly. (or “Hello”).
- It is easier to be focused on the text, less so in audio and least in the video. Text messaging is the simplest form of communication, and all you need to do is keep the content simple too. Remember that when you initially connect, if you don’t feel the right disconnect. Do not feel obliged to do anything or to “respect the feelings of others” since there is no feeling at the moment, only a “hi” to a stranger.
- Be emotionally detached from the start, do not immediately “bond” with the other person and make them your BFF before you have had at least a few days of continuous daily chat. So, even in video mode, if you feel “attracted” to the other person, don’t let your guard down right away.
- Accept rejection, it happens, it will happen, and it is happening. Rejection is a standard part of everyday life, which is amplified with stranger chat. If you can disconnect from someone, they can disconnect from you. Accept it, understand it, and move on.
- For random stranger chats, on any subject, don’t mind what the other person says, you don’t know what they are thinking, so whatever they say, even if it might seem closed, hurtful or spiteful, consider that they don’t know you too. Also, consider that a lot of what strangers say can be a method of getting you to feel guilty about something that they created. For instance, if a stranger asks for money, and you deny, and they get resentful. It’s their problem, not yours.
- Fight your fear. If you are scared of talking to strangers, then this is a perfect medium to fight that fear. Just take small steps into the wonderful world of chat, and don’t use video or audio, start with text and grow from there.
- Practice random stranger to improving your knowledge base. Chat can be either focused on a specific issue, such as finding recipes or talking about cars, or it can a random but habitual activity such as sex or dating. In the case of dating, persist on a daily basis and use it to find the friend you sorely seek. For focused chat, grow a database of recipes and car information from random stranger chats.
- When you have engaged a stranger and are now in conversation, always remain polite and always focus on the subject. Don’t take them on another fork, and don’t let them fork the conversation either.
- Make the chat a joint affair; it’s about both of you, so make it as much about them as it is about you.
- Humor is a perfect tool for breaking down barriers. Make the conversation light and humorous; it helps develop stronger bonds.
- Seek out what they really like about the subject you are discussing. For instance, in cars, the stranger might like turbochargers and carburetors. Steer the string to that, and delve into it.
- On video chats, always smile when building a discussion, it helps in creating a friendly and comfortable image, and consider that the stranger might be someone very fragile, so be careful when chatting with them.
- Imagine you are talking to your best friend, be natural, don’t talk or text like a robot. Use “speech” language when writing, and when video or audio don’t be pensive or “afraid.”
- Always close a chat with a goodbye and thanks, unless you are disconnecting abruptly.
Chatting online with strangers is not a science or an art, it’s a standard social occurrence that has moved from the physical world into the digital one. While there are many pervs out there, 99% of the chatters are normal people like you (unless you’re a perv too). This means that they are out for a good time, a discussion on something specific or just a random chat. Enjoy the same way a random chat would take place between two strangers in a queue or sitting on a train or airplane.